Throw the Olympics
Published by marco on
In a little-reported press conference before the Olympics, SatireWire reports that Bush Asks Non-U.S. Olympians to Unite…
<q> … We have a problem because the enemies of justice, the enemies of liberty and prosperity, would like nothing more than to see America’s weaknesses exploited. They would like nothing more than to celebrate our humiliation on the international stage that is the Olympics. You must not let this happen. You must help us strike another blow against the forces of tyranny and oppression. Athletes of the world, in these Olympic Games, unite behind America by finishing behind America. … I see many of you are shaking your heads, and I realize that this campaign requires sacrifice. After all, you have trained your entire lives just to get here. You dream of a gold medal, and honor for your country. Those are worthy dreams. But now is not the time for petty nationalism.</q>
A week and a half into the Olympics, it seems the people of the world have united and responded to the President’s pleas. Except for the Canadian Women’s hockey team, which didn’t get with the program. Look for Canada on the short list with rest of the Axis of Evil.
Charles Krauthammer of the New York Newsday puts forth an opposite proposal in Time to Throw the Olympics:
<q>Do we really need the men’s short-track speedskating gold medal? Can we not live without winning the two-man bobsled? Did we really have to beat the Chinese women’s hockey team 12-1? … Call me a lefty, but I cringe watching NBC’s rah-rah coverage of the Olympics. It is worse than usual. A need for some post-Sept. 11 flag-waving? We’ve already had a fairly substantial outlet for flag-waving. It’s called Afghanistan. Salt Lake, on the other hand, is an opportunity to show a bit of graciousness.</q>