Three Daily Show Clips
Earth day
Battlefield Earth (Daily Show) shows Bush at a fund-raiser in the Smoky Mountains, “the nation’s most polluted national park”. His flight was grounded by a thunderstorm, so he was forced to wing his speech, to some degree. He didn’t vary too much from his standard program, offering his usual batch of lies and uncomfortably long pauses intended to allow the audience to erupt into gales of laughter. Every time he does this, it becomes more and more painfully obvious what a deleterious effect speaking to his hand-picked “town halls” is having on him and his worldview.
“One of the interesting things about our nation is that since 1970, the water’s cleaner, the air’s more pure and we’re using our land better. … and the economy’s grown a lot.”
To which Stewart mercilessly offered his Bush impression, saying, “…and then I showed up, hehehe”.
Homosexuals
Gaywatch (Daily Show) covers the alarming issues that arise when homosexuals attempt to integrate their dirty selves into mainstream culture. With each day that passes, it seems that homosexuals are usurping the lead from the “terrorists” as the greatest danger facing America today. In a bold move against this moral debilitation, Texas has recently banned gay parents from adopting foster children.
“Suspect foster parents can be investigated to see whether they were telling the truth or not about their sexual orientation on their applications. (emphasis added)”
Jon Stewart’s comment says it all: “You know what’s interesting about all this? I not f___ing making this up!”
Advocates of the bill responded with hard science in the form of a specious claim put together as research by one guy who just gathered information from documents he found on the web.
“We have also have gotten to look at research that does show that children in same-sex couple homes are 11 times more likely to be abused sexually. … it is a proven fact.”
If that number seems high to you, you’re not alone. They’re way out of whack with anything I’ve ever seen or heard (in fact, were they true, homosexuals would never have been allowed to adopt kids in the first place). This is not scientific research, it’s not peer-reviewed, it’s about as believable as most of the stuff you find on the internet (this site is naturally excluded). How did CNN respond to the fact that this lady was quoting incredible lies as support for her arguments?
“That’s an interesting debate … a good debate … thank you both very much.”
Thanks for bringing the news to light, CNN. One side says that fags are lecherous pedophiles drooling for a shot at orphans, the other side counters that this research is completely made-up … and CNN, the moderator of the debate? The entity charged with delivering the news? The truth? It doesn’t even attempt to find out whether one side is just lying or not. Both points of view are equally legitimate. That’s called “staying objective”.
“Really … good debate? … ‘cause it kind of seemed like the one lady was just lying … kind of seemed like she was just making shit up, you know what I’m sayin’? … WHY DON’T YOU CALL THEM ON THEIR BULLSHIT ON THE AIR!?! YOU’RE A NEWS ANCHOR, FOR FUCK’S SAKE!”
To wrap up the gay backlash in America, Microsoft also backed out of all support for same-sex couples after championing the cause for years. Why? Threats from right-wing organizations brought the monopolist to heel. Scary, scary stuff.
Gas prices and corporate profits
Energy Plan (Daily Show) gives us the lowdown on those high, high gas prices. You can sleep well knowing that the right people, as always, are benefitting … most Americans are happy to lay the blame squarely laid at the feet of Saudi Arabia and OPEC, but then why does “BP have $6.6 Billion of profits in this quarter” alone?
In fact, according to Our So-Called Boom by Paul Krugman (New York Times), though every other economic indicator is down in America, corporate profits, “rose at an annual rate of more than 40 percent in the third quarter.” Naturally, the massive corporate tax cut has a lot to do with this, resulting in a “a recovery that boosts profits but not wages [and]delivers the bulk of its benefits to a small, affluent minority.”
So, if you’re curious how you can continue reading about a recovering economy when all around you is a world full of evidence to the contrary … don’t worry … you’re not crazy. You’re just in the wrong 99% of America. There’s the 1% for whom there is a recovery and they’re the ones all the newspapers and 24-hour news networks are talking about.
Back to BP: despite this overwhelming growth for a corporation that lies right in Bush’s campaign contribution sweet spot, Bush recently said:
“We need to get this country on a path away from a fossil fuel economy. … I have asked Congress for $2 Billion over the next 10 years for my coal research initiative.”
What a fucking idiot.
Murphy’s Law came stomping through to respond eloquently when Bush continued with “technology is the ticket to greater energy independence”. Then, the satellite uplink cut out. CNN, naturally, failed to note the irony and blandly repeated the president’s words for him. Stewart asked: “Is anyone at CNN awake? Is it an irony-free zone?”
This country needs some help in a big way.