Toys for Boys

Totally Fake PictureThough it’s almost certain that the article, Chinese observers watch U.S. wargames, is supposed to grab the reader’s eye because those sneaky yellow bastards will stop at nothing to learn the secret to our military might. What’s far more shocking is what a truly mighty military it is. The numbers for the pentagon budget are often bandied around—by this site as well as any other lefty rag worth its salt—but it’s hard to wrap one’s head around what 500 billion dollars really buys. Take this military exercise, which will take place over five days in the south Pacific, and will “involve 30 ships – including three aircraft carriers – 22,000 troops and 280 aircraft. (emphasis added)”. As you can see in the obviously photoshopped picture on the left[1], it’s gonna be the air show of a lifetime.

If 500 billion dollars is hard to grasp, so is 22,000 people. Take 1/3 of a stadium full of World Cup fans and let them drive boats around the Pacific for five days, pretending to shoot at each other and you’ve got a good mental picture of your tax dollars at work. Weave in the image of rockets misfiring, mistargeting and generally just missing things and if you’re not crying, you’re a real, red-blooded American (though if you are, you probably didn’t even get this far in the thought experiment and did the equivalent of changing the channel by opening a porn site in another window).

Those that remain should have a creepy feeling about any nation capable of putting on such a show of force. It’s ridiculous and a tremendous waste of money and time. It’s also offensive to every single person to poor to buy health insurance, food or a roof over their heads.

It turns out the Chinese were invited to watch—presumably so they start shaking in their boots at the sight of our power and might. In the same breath, the earnest reporter from the AP notes—as he is most likely contractually obligated to—that “China’s 2.3 million-member armed forces, the world’s largest, retain a culture of intense secrecy.” Whooo…scary. Furthermore—and this is the main point of every article about China and its military—“China has threatened to use force to assert its claim to Taiwan, a U.S. ally that Washington is legally bound to respond to if threatened.” Turns out we’ve allied ourselves with the equivalent of Puerto Rico (as far as the world sees it) or the equivalent of Hawaii (as far as China sees it…and Taiwan is a darned sight closer to mainland China than Hawaii is to the mainland US). Naturally, it’s the Chinese that have to give as we’re just defending the budding democracy in Taiwan—not to mention the dozens of chip plants that keep the American computer industry afloat.