Terror Kabuki

The American media machine is truly something to behold. On Saturday, there was a “bomb” in Times Square—bomb in quotes because the incident actually involved potentially combustible materials put together so ineptly that only smoke was (or could have ever been) produced. All qualified observers (including NYC police commissioners and mayor Bloomberg) deemed the would/be bomber laughably incompetent. Though his intent was undoubtedly malicious, his skills were so thoroughly lacking as to render him completely harmless.

For good luck.

Or perhaps it isn’t luck that the only enemies that the homeland can drag up are wildly incompetent, stupid or both. Al Qaeda, as an enemy, hasn’t exactly shaped up as an enemy to be reckoned with. Cigarettes are worse. And they seem inordinately willing to do things that expose them to police scrutiny. The Miami Seven let themselves be led around by the nose by an undercover officer; the Lackawanna Five were easily rounded up and imprisoned. No charges were ever filed, which is kind of strange, though, considering the uproar at the time of arrest. Or perhaps these periodic narrowly averted attempts and subsequent arrests are part of the show, part of the kabuki.

The Times Square Smoking Pathfinder case is similar. The evidence presented so far by the media seems much more suited to a television show than to reality: Car bought on an Internet site; suspect caught in the nick of time trying to flee the country (even though he’s an American). It’s just hard to believe the hundredth time around; it’s hard to believe that it’s not just Emmanuel Goldstein on the shiny box, ready to receive his daily Five Minutes of Hate.

There were quickly other theories, though, expressed so crassly as to be hardly believed. For example, there was the cartoon claiming that the white man was being persecuted again. That is, that some had suggested that the attack might have been planned by domestic militia, which isn’t too far-fetched, considering their quite violent rhetoric and recent statements. Luckily, the police managed, only days later, to nab a Pakistani-American. The cartoonist is likely as surprised as anyone to see that the white man was, for once, exonerated, and that a little brown fella is sitting in custody instead.

And then there is the cartoon that tries just a little too hard to start a war with Iran, putting Ahmadinejad himself at the scene of the crime. This cartoon likely appeared in hundreds of papers in the States and was happily assimilated as completely believable. Instead of the vilest libel, it’s just run-of-the-mill war-mongering. One wonders how the cartoonist managed to leave off a barrel with the international nuclear symbol on the side—to drive the point home that Iran HAS NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

No, the American media is so mindlessly focused on itself that it doesn’t even realize how ridiculous it looks. With a mindset engendered by such an information environment, one smoking Pathfinder per year is more than enough to keep the drones and missiles flying. After all, even though no one was hurt, just the idea that an American of Pakistani origin might have actually tried to blow up Americans is more than enough reason to flatten several villages in Pakistan, hunting his purported comrades-in-arms. It’s quite likely that his eventual release—almost all of the loudly trumpeted captured terrorists are released, though often after years of solitary imprisonment and torture—will be completely ignored by both the American public and its media. It’s not important that the story they believe is true—it’s far more important that it is interesting and, above all, comforting. And, as the cartoon to the right shows, it’s always gotta be all about us.