Capsule Movie Reviews Vol.2013.4
- X-Men: First Class (2004) — 9/10
- Possibly the best of all of the X-Men movies so far, with Jean Grey coming from the dead as Phoenix and fighting with Professor X himself for supremacy. They took out Magneto—made him human—and man was I rooting for the Phoenix to make a clean slate of things at the end. Mainstream movies always cop out when it comes to destroying the world, though. Still recommended, though, and highly recommended for fans of comic-book movies.
- Kill Bill Vol. I (2003) — 10/10
- The classic Tarantino. Saw it for the third or fourth time; still love it. Saw it in German.
- The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) — 6/10
- Although I kind of want the first forty-five minutes back, it was worth the wait for the absolutely spellbinding sequence with Bilbo and Gollum/Sméagol. There was a lot of embellishment over Tolkien’s original text: the goblins were there—the Goblin King and his kingdom were exquisitely rendered and portrayed—but so were the orcs, who never really made an appearance so early in the book. It felt a little dumbed-down but it was entertaining enough, I guess. This is the first of three parts and Benedict Cumberbatch is to make an appearance in the second and third parts, so I’m cautiously optimistic. It’s hard not to think that they’re really no longer making these for the hardcore Tolkien fans and more just to make a boatload of money.
- Trading Places (1983) — 7/10
- Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis—all just young as hell—star in this film about a successful commodities broker (Aykroyd) whose place is maliciously switched with that of a homeless man (Murphy). Ralph Bellamy and Don Ameche play the owners of the commodities firm, who engineer the switch, throwing their star employee into destitution and raising Murphy up to the pole position in their firm. Murphy and Aykroyd manage to team up and turn the tables on them. Recommended.
- Sudden Death (1995) — 7/10
- Jean-Claude Van Damme as a fire marshal at the seventh game of the Stanley Cup Playoffs. The vice president of the U.S. is in attendance and he is taken hostage and held for ransom. The final rescue scene, where he circus-acts and Macgyvers his way from the top of the dome to the skybox is pretty original, actually. The ensuing helicopter scene was also unlike anything I’d seen before. Kind of on the level of Die Hard 4 (when McLane drives his car into a helicopter) but somehow less annoying for its unbelievability. It was actually more like the original Die Hard. Recommended for the action movie that it is (especially if you have a soft spot in your heart for JCVD).
- The Man (2005) — 3/10
- An utterly awful film starring Eugene Levy and Samuel L. Jackson. It’s unfathomable what drove Jackson to take this role: a desperate need for money? Or boredom? Or did he lose a bet? Miguel Ferrer was also in it, mysteriously enough.
- Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987) — 7/10
- An absurdist comedy about everything that can go wrong on a holiday journey in 1980s America. John Candy as the somewhat annoying but hard-to-hate schlub and Steve Martin as the straight-laced and largely fun-free marketing guy. It’s a classic and it’s actually quite good, thanks in no small part to Candy’s irrepressible good humor. Their true bonding begins when sitting on Candy’s oversized steamer trunk, facing oncoming traffic on the shoulder of a highway, in the middle of the night, illuminated by the flickering glow of the their already-partially destroyed heap of a car catching fire.
- The Karate Kid (2010) — 5/10
- Jackie Chan is easily the best thing about this remake of the 1980s original. Jaden Smith is slightly more believable than Ralph Macchio—but just barely.
- Mean Girls (2004) — 7/10
- A teenage girl moves with her sociologist/anthropologist parents from Africa to California, entering the far more dangerous world of a modern American high school. It is, apparently, not much different than high school in the late 80s, according to my viewing companion. It has its funny moments, but it might not speak to everyone. Lindsay Lohan is good in it.
- Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011) — 7/10
- Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Julianne Moore and Emma Stone all play quite well in a movie about an exhausted marriage healed by a separation, of a man (Carell) who’s forgotten how to be appealing and of another man (Gosling) who knows what he doesn’t want to be but doesn’t know how to become what he does want to be. If that makes any sense. Julianne Moore was ok, but Emma Stone was better. Marisa Tomei has a smaller role and is also quite good. More depth than expected. Recommended.
- Real Genius (1985) — 8/10
- Val Kilmer stars in this film about super-smart kids at a super-prestigious tech university, roped by their sleazy and egomaniacal professor into working on his military contract to create a powerful laser (read: SDI). The smart kids end up teaming up to turn the tables on their teachers and the grad students beholden to them in amusing and entertaining ways. A classic. Kilmer shines. Recommended.
- Iron Man 2 (2010) — 7/10
- Saw it for the second time, shortly after having re-watched the original. Mickey Rourke as Ivan Vanko is great, Sam Rockwell as Hammer is amusing and Don Cheadle is always a welcome addition. The plot was a bit lacking, though, with far too many Deus ex Machinae for my taste. The plot was pulled along by non sequiturs instead of by any common thread. The action scenes were decent, but also a bit too military-hardware–heavy. It kind of felt like watching a commercial for the Pentagon for long stretches. After watching it a second time, I am no longer surprised that I had such a hard time remembering what it was about. Still looking forward to the third installment, though. Sir Ben Kingsley is always good. And Robert Downey Jr. would have to work hard to ruin a film.
- The Omen (2006) — 3/10
- A pale shadow of a remake illuminated by the somewhat demonic-looking Liev Schreiber. Julia Stiles was in it, but was wasted. Not drunk, I mean, but not utilized. Spoiler alert: everybody dies and the son of the devil wins. Not recommended.
- Unknown (2011) — 5/10
- Liam Neeson is kicking the shit out of a bunch of people again. Instead of directly stealing his daughter or wife—as in both of the Taken films—his own identity is stolen. Evil Arabs are involved, which is making me really wonder where Neeson’s prejudices lie. Diane Kruger plays a taxi driver who helps him try to get his life and identity back—if he can. She’s pretty good in this. It’s not awful and not really predictable but still not very entertaining.