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Kindle recommendations: 2021.1

Published by marco on

Since my Kindle regularly provides me with what I consider to be bizarre recommendations, I’ll just name this series of posts about them.

Though these books aren’t for me, I’m honestly glad that people are reading books. I am a bit worried that they’re reading books generated by an AI, but as long as they’re happy…

As for these books? I feel like I’m watching the awakening of an a digital mind, trained on and simultaneously stunted by the questionable quality of human literary achievement that is the Kindle Unlimited library.

Opaque

 The boss of fiction

“Is Adam too intimidating for you? Or are you the boss of fiction?”

I’m classifying this one under AI-generated attempt by Amazon at getting me to buy content that they’ve created on a server farm for a few pennies of processing power.

I obviously didn’t click this one because I’m not man enough to read something like that. I am absolutely not the boss of fiction, not even a lowly vice president.

My Kindle thinks I’m a child

 AI run amuck in Kindle world

“Come along with Basil Drempt and Samuel Steiner as the kangaroo kickflip, DDT, and clothesline their way through the troublesome streets of Molasses.”

C’mon, Amazon—this one has obviously been generated by GPT3 (Wikipedia). There is no way that a human intelligence was involved. What kind of last name is “Drempt” anyway? Is it because the kid on the cover is “dreaming” so they took a misspelling of “dreamt” as his last name? The other seemingly nonsense terms are actual wrestling moves, but a town named “Molasses”? GTFOH.

My Kindle thinks I’m a teenage girl

 My Kindle things I'm a teenage girl

“That summer you realize your best friend has gotten really hot.”

I’m not sure which best friend they’re referring to. They’re both generically hot. I guessed by the author’s classically female name (probably fake) that the intention was for me to sympathize with the girl who’s discovered she might want to move someone out of the friend zone because his appearance has changed enough to make him fuckable instead

My Kindle thinks I’m bi

 My Kindle thinks I'm bi

“I was hired to break his bad habits, but what if I’m falling for Boston’s notorious playboy?”

Speaking of fuckable…this seems like a crossover hit with appeal for both the ladies and the gentlemen. While L.J. Shen has the firm hand and steely resolve to navigate the treacherous waters of a novel about a man who’s so dumb he puts his tie on first, I just don’t have time to read them all.

This is one of those covers that might be awkward to explain if you leave your Kindle on your towel at the pool and your macho friends aren’t aware that you have no control over what it shows in “sleep” mode and just assume that it’s the cover of what you’re reading. If you have good friends, they won’t judge and maybe even have a few good suggestions of their own.

My Kindle thinks I’m a pedophile

 My Kindle thinks I'm a pedophile

“A kidnapper with a perverse lust for manipulation, a girl abducted and locked away trying to remain strong, a police captain’s race against the odds”

Going back to the towel at the pool, I’m not sure how you’re going to wiggle out of this one. If someone is confronting you about this cover on your Kindle, they’ve probably already called the police, just to be on the safe side.

No, no! You don’t understand! My Kindle chose this! I have no control over it!

A likely story. Methinks though doth protest too much.

Please come this way sir. Welcome to the predator’s list.