SOTU 2023

I read through the Full transcript of Biden’s 2023 State of the Union address by Biden Administration (CNN). Since I read it, it’s now been annotated to death. When I read it, it was just a transcript.

It’s quite a piece of work. I had to check a few times to see whether I was reading the state of the union of the U.S.A.

Joe Biden describes a country with policies that I don’t recognize. He describes a functioning democracy that is surging with greatness and getting amazing things done for everyone. And, at the same time, he’s apologetic about how bad things still are—but everything will be better soon.

You literally couldn’t publicly disagree with most of what Biden said in at least the first half of the speech. He talked about amazing social programs that are either already underway—or are coming very soon. As expected, his foreign policy—which took up only a small portion of the speech—was purely warlike, but equally fantastical as the rest of it.

Like any other SOTU, though, absolutely none of this fairy tale will come true.

To save you the trouble of reading through it, here’s my summary.

1. America is back on top

   • America was never not on top
2. Dems and Reps working hand in hand

   • bi-partisan, obviously
3. The middle class is suffering

   • The working class is suffering, too
4. But chips are coming back!

   • All manufacturing is coming back!
   • It’s already here!
5. Infrastructure is being rebuilt as we speak
6. Also, buy American!
7. Urban. Suburban. Rural. Tribal.

   • Um, what?
8. Being poor sucks
9. Medicine is too expensive

   • Especially insulin
10. Big Pharma sucks

    • Gonna stop ‘em
11. Electric cars rule
12. Big companies don’t pay taxes

    • They should, though
13. Big deficits suck

    • Trump made big deficits
    • Let’s all not even remember why, though
14. Social Security and Medicare are safe
15. We really need to raise taxes on the rich
16. Shipping costs were too high.

    • Not anymore!
    • Cut by 90%
17. Junk fees suck

    • Credit cards put on a leash
    • Airlines put on a leash
    • Ticketing, everything, put on a leash with Junk Fee Prevention Act
18. Non-competes suck

    • Get rid of ‘em!
19. Unions are good

    • So let people start ‘em
    • Pass the PRO act
20. Restore the Child Tax Credit
21. More home-care services for seniors and people with disabilities
22. More school!

    • Pre-K will make the difference
23. Give public-school teachers a raise
24. COVID is under control
25. Fight fraud and tax-evasion
26. Police should stop killing black people
27. We ask too much of police.

    • They’re under stress.
28. Moar gun safety.
29. Stop unlawful immigration

    • It’s down 97%
    • But it’s still not fixed?
30. Also, drugs are bad

    • Drug war, baby!
    • This time it’ll work.
31. C’mon with the banning abortions

    • Not on Joe’s watch
32. ¾ of the way through, and we’re finally ready for Ukraine

    • We are unbelievably fucking awesome there
    • No points off
    • We did absolutely every thing right that could possibly be done right
    • It’s absolutely uncanny how amazing we are
    • You wouldn’t think it would be possible, but here we are
    • You can’t argue with facts
    • We’re done with Ukraine pretty quickly
33. China’s on the shit list, too

    • We’ve got our eye on you, China
    • The world appreciates it
    • Just competition, not conflict, though
    • We mos def have to win against China though
    • Not just for the U.S.A., but for the world’s own good
34. Drugs are pretty bad

    • So is cancer-causing pollution
35. And, Christ, that Big Tech preying on our kids

    • That’s gotta stop
36. Veterans killing themselves is also no bueno
37. Cancer, though, what a sonofabitch, ammirite?
38. Extremism and hate is bad, too

    • Poor Paul Pelosi
39. Now is the time for the U.S.A.

    • God loves us best
40. “May God bless you all. May God protect our troops.”