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Rocket Man State of the Union

Published by marco on

Updated by marco on

Installment 28 (MNFTIU) made me laugh, but in a sad way.

Installment 30 (MNFTIU) just made me laugh. Quoting that is waaaayyyy easier than poking holes in Bush’s space plans myself. I’m reproducing choice quotes below just to have them, but I’d browse to the link so you can see the little office dude in a space helmet delivering the lines.


Wait a minute … how are we gonna get to Mars?

“Check it out — we’re going to build a base on the moon! Then we’ll literally FLY TO MARS!!! In space!

“And we all have to wear purple hats and everyone gets a free basketball!!! President Bush is making me giddy!

“You know, I remember when I was worried that the war in Iraq would distract us from rebuilding Afghanistan. Today, I literally asked myself, “Are we going to get distracted from rebuilding Iraq because of our mission to Mars?” Now, what the hell kind of President brings about a state of affairs where his citizens have to ask that question?

“MY president!!!

“Remember when Bush flew that fighter jet onto the aircraft carrier after we accomplished that mission? Wouldn’t it be awesome if he landed a rocket ship on the Capitol Dome and delievered the State of the Union speech dressed like an astronaut?

“If Bush wants to dream big, why travel to Mars? Fuck it — why not travel through time? We could go back in time to when all the continents were stuck together in one big-ass Pangea and just stick a flag in the middle and call it a day.