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Capsule Movie Reviews Vol.2011.4

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<dl dt_class="field"> Fireflies in the Garden (2008) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0961108/">8/10</a> A decent film with a strong cast---Willem Dafoe and Ryan Reynolds are very good, with Carrie Anne Moss and Julia Roberts in smaller roles---about a family with an overbearing (asshole) patriarch (Dafoe) whose son (and wife, actually) has eluded his grasp. Think <i>Death of a Salesman</i> where Loman has a sadistic streak and a wicked temper instead of a pathetic air about him. Ryan Reynolds is more subdued, adapting his trademark rapier wit and coolness to the role. Inglourious Basterds (2008) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0361748/">9/10</a> A Quentin Tarantino masterpiece, told in four languages (mostly French, German and English, though Italian makes a small, but crucial appearance). An alternate history for the end of WWII with a tremendous cast and absolutely captivating dialogue and direction. Brad Pitt is back-country U.S. Army through and through and leads a band of killer Jew-ninjas on a hunt for Nazi scalps. Christoph Waltz scintillates as the Jew-Hunter; Til Schweiger as a defected, disaffected Nazi turned Nazi-hunter is in a role he seemed born for. Saw it for the second time; highly recommended. After.Life (2009) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0838247/">4/10</a> A promising cast of Christina Ricci, Justin Long and Liam Neeson delivered a humdrum movie about death and the afterlife or maybe about serial killers. It was hard to tell; I'm not sure the scriptwriter even knew, to be frank. Justin Long didn't have a single funny line in the flick, so he was completely wasted (for an example of how to use a comedian in a serious film, see Ryan Reynolds in <i>Fireflies in the Garden</i>, reviewed above); Liam Neeson was his usually inscrutable and vaguely menacing self; Christina Ricci was very thin and spent much of the movie naked, which oddly enough <i>still</i> did not make it worth watching. Granted, she was supposed to be dead the whole time (or was she?), but either the movie sucked horrendously or I've gotten very, very old. Management (2008) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1082853/">5/10</a> A sweet-enough movie as far as these things go, weighing in a little quirkier than most chick-flicks (which is, I believe, the official designation for any movie with Jennifer Aniston in it). She's a philanthropic minor executive who lives in Baltimore and he (Steve Zahn) is a naive, harmless man-child living in Kingman, Arizona.<fn> Long story short, he hits on her in his pathetic man-child way, she pity-fucks him, he stalks her a few times, she finds it endearing, but chooses pragmatism over puppy love when she moves in with Woody Harrelson (playing "Jango", an ex-punk-rocker yogurt-magnate with strong political views and a short temper). More stalking ensues and Zahn meets "Al", the quirky character highlight of the film. They end up together (not really a spoiler there), but it's hard to care. Despicable Me (2010) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1323594/">7/10</a> A cartoon featuring a villain named Gru voiced by Steve Carell in what to my ears was some sort of a Slavic/Russian accent. He's a super-villain who perpetrates super-crimes supported by a super-base and scads of minions headed up by his friend and colleague, Dr. Nefario. He butts up against the new guy in town, Vector, who is Bill Gates in a tracksuit and their adventures together---and against one another---are rounded out by three orphan girls. It's a bit schmaltzy but it has its moments (Spoiler alert: e.g. when one girl gets her unicorn stuffed animal at the theme park and shrieks/declares emphatically: "He's SO fluffly!" in a snarl/growl that beggars description). Megamind (2010) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1001526/">8/10</a> Will Ferrell voices Megamind, the super-villain; Brad Pitt voices Metroman, the superhero and Tina Fey voices the wisecracking reporter whose romantic interests are up for grabs. Jonah Hill rounds out the cast as the dweeb turned awkward hero turned even-more-awkward villain. The writing is decent and things don't turn out <i>exactly </i> as one would expect, which was enough of a relief to make it enjoyable. I actually liked it better than <i>Despicable Me</i>---if only because the repartee between Minion (voiced by none other than David Cross) and Megamind was better than that between Gru and Dr. Nefario. My Best Friend's Girl (2008) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1046163/">7/10</a> What I thought would be a chick flick happily turned out to be a good deal darker and funnier than expected. Jason Biggs and Alec Baldwin---funny in their own right---played side roles in this one (the hair salon was the highlight for Biggs; Baldwin didn't really have one, honestly), but Kate Hudson and Dane Cook carried this film well. I'm not going to give away his job because not knowing is what makes the first ten minutes so entertaining. Suffice it to say that you can let this chick flick be queued up without fear: it's a bit long, but it's funny and overall pretty good. Double Jeopardy (1999) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0150377/">6/10</a> A film about a woman---played by Naomi Watts---double-crossed by her husband and sent to jail for his murder. There she learns that, having already served the time for his murder, she cannot be tried again were she to really and truly kill him when she got out (because of the titular <i>double-jeopardy</i> clause in the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States). Tommy Lee Jones plays her parole officer and chases her all over the damned place, but who wouldn't? Watts has some pretty sly con-man moves on the lam. Saw it in German. Cry-Baby (1990) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099329/">6/10</a> A John Waters film starring Johnny Depp in what seems to be a through-the-looking-glass remake of Grease with rednecks and the usual cast of slightly misaligned characters that populate Waters's films. Ricky Lake, Willem Dafoe and Traci Lords round out the cast. It's a decent time with some truly bizarre song and dance routines with Depp chewing the scenery as usual. Paycheck (2003) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338337/">6/10</a> Ben Affleck is joined by Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhart and Paul Giamatti in a science-fiction thriller based on a Philip K. Dick short story about an engineer who invents technologies for companies, then lets them erase his memories in exchange for a big paycheck. When he finishes his biggest job yet, he finds himself with no money, an envelope full of junk and hired henchmen on his tail. The envelope is from himself and proves remarkably useful in getting him out of the scrapes he encounters. Pretty entertaining and relatively well-done. Saw it in German. Coco Avant Chanel (2009) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1035736/">4/10</a> Audrey Tautou plays Coco Chanel (in French with absolutely atrocious English subtitles<fn>). I'd never seen anything this bad. With my poor French, I was still able to "fix" some of the more mysterious translations for the wife, but after half an hour or so we got distracted and shut it off. Neither one of us ever mentioned the film again. Eagle Eye (2008) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1059786/">2/10</a> A God-awful film about an omnipresent, omnipotent computer that plots to kill the president (don't worry about spoilers; this film should not be watched). Not since <i>Enemy of the State</i> have I seen such awful "technology". The action scenes are sliced up into little tiny bits that form an incomprehensible mishmash of explosions and expressions of grim determination. Did a crossword while watching it with one eye. The computer looked a bit like GLaDOS from Portal and was finally stopped by <i>stabbing it in its "eye"</i>. Horrible. Just horrible. Cannot be unseen. Saw it in German. Les rivières pourpres (2000) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0228786/">5/10</a> A French crime drama starring the inestimable Jean Reno and Vincent Cassel and Nadia Farès (who never jumped to the opposite shore like the two men). It had promise, but wasn't so well-edited and created and discarded interesting theories in a pell-mell race to the end of the film. I can only assume that the book was much better and the need to shoehorn it into only 100 minutes was largely to blame for the poor pacing and confusing plot. Saw it in German. Vanilla Sky --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259711/">6/10</a> Tom Cruise as a rich attractive dude who cheats on one hot chick with another one. The first one tries to kill him in a car accident which disfigures him, depressing him enough that he signs over his life to a mortuary/software company that lets him lucidly dream the life he wanted to have with the hot chick who didn't try to kill him. Jason Lee is pretty good; the voice-over actress for Penélope Cruz conveys exactly the feeling you get from listening to her speak English, but in German---it's impressive. Tom Cruise as a millionaire playboy makes acting self-centered look easy. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0446029/">6/10</a> An effects-heavy video-game--styled rendering of a boy/man's fantasy of fighting his hot new girlfriend's exes in Mortal-Kombat--style clashes. The dialogue is decent and it doesn't take itself too seriously. It could have been edited more tightly. Michael Cera is a bit uneven, really hitting the lovable loser thing a bit too hard; it's wearing a bit thin---get a <i>haircut</i> already instead of just whining about it. Some of the fight choreography is very well done, though and the overall aesthetic reminded me more than a little of <i>Speed Racer</i>. Max Payne (2008) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0467197/">6/10</a> Mark Wahlberg takes up the role of detective Max Payne from the groundbreaking video game (and its sequel). The film did a good job of capturing both the mood and semi-surrealistic storyline of the video game. The acting was so-so throughout---especially the typically execrable Beau Bridges, who is nowhere near his brother Jeff in capability---but Mila Kunis did a decent job as Mona (as well as being quite easy on the eyes). Made me want to play the games again, actually. Saw it in German. Heist (Heist - Der letzte Coup) (2001) --- <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0252503/">7/10</a> Gene Hackman, Danny DeVito and Delroy Lindo take up their standard roles, and Ricky Jay (yes, the magician) rounds out the group of professional thieves. Sam Rockwell is sleazy and dumb and screenwriter David Manet puts most of this to good work, giving us at times predictable, but overall quite entertaining plot twists galore. Saw it in German, but it didn't lose much in translation. It's a heist film; the good guys win; someone is sacrificed; everyone else gets what they deserve, good and bad. </dl> <hr> <ft>Which is pretty much the ass of the world, covered in motels and crappy restaurants, all designed for the traveler just passing through. An even more appalling example would be Lake Havasu City</ft>