<a href="http://www.whitehouse.org/">The White House</a> issued another alert today: <a href="http://www.whitehouse.org/news/2001/121301.asp">Terrorists Lurking in Life-sized Manger Tableaus!</a>. The problem lies with the large manger scenes commonly put on by churches in small towns in the U.S. <span class="quote"><q>As you will note, nearly every such nativity display has folks that look just like that terrorist we're after, that evil un-Christian bin Laden fellow. And if we see somebody who looks like a terrorist, we're taking the fucker down.</q></span> The problem is real and seems to be suppressed in major media news outlets, probably in the interests of 'national security'. However, for those that are aware of the enemy in our midst, John Ashcroft has the following suggestion: <span class="quote"><q>To determine whether a manger scene is safe, we suggest that the armed members of your families yell, "Allah is great! Yeah, a great big Ho!" as they approach the holy scene. If any of the Wise Men flinches, shoot first and ask questions later. But please, out of respect, try to avoid hitting the infant child baby Jesus.</q></span>