I've got all of the Bill Hicks albums. I think it would have been really cool to hear what Mr. Hicks had to say about the last two years in America. I think the eeriest part is that you can get an extremely good idea by listening to the albums he record a dozen years ago. You see, he was extremely critical of the first Bush administration, and Republicans and Right-to-lifers and the war in Iraq. Listen to (or read, some are available here at <a href="http://www.billhicks.com/">BillHicks.com</a>) his material and you'll be absolutely awestruck at how appropriate it is still today. That is not through any amazing gift of sight on his part (though he made claims about his "third eye", obtained through the heavy use of recreational fungi), but simply because we are reliving history in a much tighter loop than ever before. What about the Elite Republican Guard in Iraq? They never even showed up this time. Let's see what Mr. Hicks had to say about their performance 13 years ago: <bq>It depressed everyone, it's so scary watching the news, how they built it all out of proportion, like Iraq was ever, or could ever possibly, under any stretch of the imagination be a threat to us-wwwwhatsoever. But-watching the news, you never would have got that idea. Remember how it started, they kept talking about 'the Elite Republican Guard' in these hushed tones like these guys were the bogeymen or something. Yeah, we're doing well now, but we have yet to face-THE ELITE REPUBLICAN GUARD. Like these guys were twelve feet tall, desert warriors. KRRASH. NEVER LOST A BATTLE! KRRASH. WE SHIT BULLETS! Yeah, well, after two months of continuous carpet bombings and not one reaction at all from them, they became simply, 'the Republican Guard.' Not nearly as elite as we may have led you to believe. And after another month of bombing, they went from 'the Elite Republican Guard' to 'the Republican Guard' to 'the Republicans made this shit up about there being guards out there'. We hope you enjoyed your fireworks show. It was so pretty, and it took our mind off of domestic issues! The Persian Gulf distraction.</bq> Sends chills down your spine, no? Make you mad as hell, doesn't it? The powers-that-be respect your intelligence and memory so little that they don't even bother making up a new story to feed you. Not only do they trust that you've forgetten that they lied about everything last time, but they think we're stupid and/or lazy enough to believe the <i>exact same lies again</i>. It seems it's a gamble that paid off for them. But, I digress, let's have some more classic (and timeless) Hicks: <bq>... Bush tried to buy votes towards the end of the election. Goes around, you know, selling weapons to everyone, getting that military industrial complex vote happening for him. Sold 160 fighter jets to Korea and then 240 tanks to Kuwait and then goes around making speeches why he should be Commander-in-Chief because, "We still live in a dangerous world.</bq> <bq>They're arming the fucking world man. You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: ... "Iraq: incredible weapons - incredible weapons." ... "How do you know that?" ... "Uh, well... We looked at the receipt.</bq> <bq>We're going in for God and country and democracy and here's a foetus and he's a Hitler. Whatever you fucking need, let's go. Get motivated behind this, let's go!</bq> <bq>I'm so sick of arming the world and then sending troops over to destroy the fucking arms, you know what I mean? We keep arming these little countries then we go and blow the shit out of em. We're like the bullies of the world, you know. We're like Jack Palance in the movie Shane... Throwing the pistol at the sheep herder's feet: ... "Pick it up." ... "I don't wanna pick it up mister, you'll shoot me." ... "Pick up the gun." ... "Mister, I don't want no trouble huh. I just came down town here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don't even know what gingham is, but she goes through about 10 rolls a week of that stuff. I ain't looking for no trouble mister." ... "Pick up the gun." ...BOOM BOOM ... "You all saw him. He had a gun.</bq>