<a href="http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2042" source="Something Awful" author="Zack 'Geist Editor' Parsons">Did Somebody Say Macho?</a> takes on the daunting task of creating an objective scale determining any given person's "Macho-ness". The macho-factor is a 2-dimensional matrix defined along the Swayze-Eastwood Axis and the Shatner-Kressley Axis (Kressley is the dude from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", who, apparently, is the cultural opposite of a guy who <iq>was probably watching re-runs of "TJ Hooker" when his wife drowned in the pool</iq>). There is, of course, a helpful questionnaire to help you find your own place in the chart. There are two sections, one each for determining your co-ordinates on the two axes. <img align="center" src="{att_thumb}macho-graph.png" href="{att_link}macho-graph.png" class="frame"> Here's a sample question from the Swayze-Eastwood Axis: <div class="quote-block">When you see a beautiful woman you... <ol> Point at her and make the noise from "Invasion of the Body Snatchers". (+0) Introduce yourself politely. (-1) Make sure your erection is visible through your clinging unitard and adjust your sweatband in preparation for an introductory dance. (-3) Stare at her until she says "what?" and then reply "It's not going to suck itself." (+1) Light a match on your facial stubble and casually throw the lit match into her flammable whore hair. (+3) </ol></div> I know it's not right, but (4) had me rolling on the floor.