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Title

The merger to end all mergers

Description

According to several sources (check <a href="http://news.google.com/">Google News</a>), the Democrat and Republican parties have officially merged into one organization. The move was ostensibly made to cut down on administration and production costs and <i>does not</i> mean the two parties themselves cease to exist; it just means Kerry and Bush might be sharing the same TV studio when filming mud-slinging commercials. RNC Chairman Ed Gillespie explains: <bq>...this move has nothing to do with ideology --- it's simply a matter of good business ... [if] we can provide the same wide range of choices to the American people for less cost, it's a win-win situation.</bq> Whereas the parties will contain to exist and campaign separately, they will share <iq>federal funding for administrative costs</iq> and have even compromised on a new logo to represent the new, hybrid organization. This final merging of the two remaining parties in the US is seen by many in government as the <iq>holy grail of Democracy ... what could be more Democratic than everyone agreeing all [of] the time?</iq> <img src="{att_link}replublicat.png" align="center" class="frame" caption="Republicrat"> The situation is, of course, portrayereplublicat.pngd by both parties as a win for voters, though it's more likely going to limit choice as the parties' ideologies continue to merge. In fact, that's even one of the reasons <i>cited</i> by officials from both parties for merging. As Jackson Dunn, the DNC Finance Director put it: <iq>...you can barely tell the difference now anyway, why not let us save some time and money while we're at it?</iq>. It may indeed make things clearer and easier for the American voter (after all, who hasn't been confused by the myriad parties in foreign elections?), but this is exactly the kind of short-term thinking that sounds the final death knell for Democracy in America. With Democratic ideology constantly swinging further and further right, always seeking the middle, political thought in America has pretty much coalesced into a narrow world-view. However, there <i>were</i> still two major parties. Now, despite complicated explanations to the contrary, only one remains. Joe Voter isn't going to know where his vote is going and more coalescence is likely to follow as the organization finds its feet. In fact, the Republicans could have never simply legislated Democrats out of existence, but are now free to swallow the Democratic wing whole and simultaneously shed the bad press associated with their old name, a la <a href="http://www.altria.com/">Altria</a>. The two Republicrat presidential candidates are happy with the merger, citing their willingness to <iq>compromise</iq> and <iq>avoid partisan politics</iq>. Ralph Nader and Noam Chomsky were not available for comment as both were sobbing inconsolably at press time.