Attention America: How to Pronounce a Certain German Propagandist’s Name

Dear American Media, Political Talking Heads and Wonks of all Stripes,

If you’re going to insist on calling each other Nazis all the damned time, fine. I don’t even care that the shoe almost never fits.

But, if you’re going to invoke the dreaded Herr Göbbels (Wikpedia), at least pronounce his name correctly.

Take a close look, morons: that’s an umlaut, not an ‘r’.

While it’s inspiring that you actually manage the umlaut correctly, it’s a complete mystery why you all insist on adding an ‘r’ after it.

Knock it off. Now.

Or just use Hermann Göring (Wikipedia) instead: he, too, was a nasty piece of work. Though he wasn’t strictly a propagandist, your audience doesn’t even know you’re mispronouncing Göbbels’s name, so who the f&%k cares? They’re Americans; it’s not like they’re strong in historical figures. At least Hermann’s name has an ‘r’ in it.