Daily Show roundup

Here’s a collection of my favorite Daily Show clips from the last couple of weeks. Each one has a link to the clip (Real Player) and list of my favorite quotes from it underneath.

Conventional Wisdom

Conventional Wisdom, Talking Points, Acquired Opinions: it’s how you learn stuff in today’s magical media age. Why think? Regurgitating thoughts other people had is easier.

“Conventional wisdom is the agreed-upon interpretation by the media: it’s not important that it’s true, just that it’s agreed upon. That’s where talking points come in — but how do you absorb talking points unless they’re jackhammered into your skull? That’s where television lends a hand — Talking points … they’re true because they’re said a lot.”

CIA Culpa

In which the question is asked:

“Is it possible for the word “intelligence” to be its own oxymoron?”

After showing the House minority leader telling us that he (and others) would have never voted for a war based on faulty intelligence (now that it’s safe to be opposed to the war), Jon quips:

“Democrats: always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.”

He goes on to show Bush explaining the faulty intelligence or no, Saddam had (an unproven) intent to do something bad. To which Jon responds:

“Intent to make weapons and hatred of America … and now that [Saddam]’s gone, there’s no one else in the world who meets that criteria.”

Delayed Election?

Rob Cordry shows how concerned Republicans plan to prevent terrorism from affecting the election by calling it off pre-emptively. Or changing the voting process, just slightly, to prevent the terrorists from winning. Again. The bastards.

He doesn’t say so, but the plan has Tom Daschle written all over it.

“Who really wins? We won’t know … but, more importantly, neither will our enemies. If you live in a large, ethnically diverse city with, say, poor people, … stay home, don’t be a hero. There’ll be another election in 2012.”

Mess O’ Potamia: Stop Loss

The US Military is not letting anybody leave. No one leaves the room, not even musicians. But why? Turns out for a pretty damned good reason.

“Is there not a way you could do without the euphonimum player? Unfortunately, as you know, our bands do an awful lot of burial services. So, let me get this straight: the Army, confronted with the fact that it doesn’t have enough musicians to play at all these soldiers’ funerals and comes up with this solution: hire more musicians.”

Back in Black − Conventional Chaos

The two parties in US politics are having their respective, completely symbolic selection processes/conventions/hoedowns in Boston and New York. Needless to say, “by the people, for the people” are words the organizers live by.

“Democrats and Republicans will bring their message of hope, freedom and respect for the common man to Boston and New York by shutting them down and declaring martial law. It’s for security purposes, you understand. And if you don’t … you’re under arrest!”

In New York, citizens can rejoice and thrill in the comfort of massive police presence, replete with their new sub-machine guns.

“The area will be blanketed with more than 10,000 NYC cops … which means that Republicans will have more people protecting the President than actually out looking for the people trying to hurt him.”

And, to appeal to the average American, a theme both parties pay massive lip service to, there’ll be:

“… a soiree at the Copa Cabana … a special luncheon at Sotheby’s and a small, private dinner in the wine cellar of the 21 Club. Gee, it’s hard to figure out which party represents the America I hate more.”