American Mascot Contest

I got an email recently with a rather interesting suggestion: change the emblem of the United States from an “eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance”. Why is it better?

“A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed.”

While you’re probably nodding your head in agreement, and, perhaps, wonderment that the government actually came up with a good idea, you probably also would like to know how it might look. We here at earthli have taken the liberty of taking the standard emblem, shown below:

…and adjusting it to give you a visual of our country’s new representative. Say hello to “Sammy”:

I think you’ll agree that it’s an all-around improvement. Hell, he’s even smiling to let everyone else know what great folks we are! How can you go wrong?